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July 2017

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Live From New York, It's A Venture Thanksgiving!

We start our episode in NYC at the new Venture Compound. Everyone has adjusted very well to their new lifestyle, everyone that is but Hank. Hank misses Dermott, Nikki, and Brock more than anything and is craving fun and excitement.

Dr. Venture: Come on Hank! We have 15 minutes to catch the E Train!

Hank: I'm not going.

Dr. Venture: What was that Hank?

Hank: You heard me, I'm not going.

Dr. Venture: Give me one good reason why you won't go Hank!

Hank: I hate it here! I miss Dermott, Nikki, and Brock and I want an adventure!

Dr. Venture: You can see Dermott and Nikki anytime and Brock is on a mission in Tibet. If its an adventure you want, well boy you're gonna get it because Dean is performing at State University for their annual Thanksgiving concert; he's 2nd chair flute!

Hank: I'm not going and that's final!

Dr. Venture: Then you leave me no choice; guards! Escort him off the premises, he is to have no access to this property ever again!

Hank is thrown off the property and begins to wander the streets of NYC when it starts raining.

Hank: Oh great, the sky's crying! Now what? [thunder and lightning start up]

Hank wanders the streets some more and a car rolls up to him. A window rolls down and its 24.

24: What are you doing out here in this severe thunderstorm Hank? I thought your dad kept you on a leash.

Hank: I got thrown off the premises because I refused to see Dean's concert at State University, he's 2nd chair flute and has a solo.

24: Finally! You can come back west with me Hank, I'm having Thanksgiving dinner at my sister's house in Youngstown, Ohio though first.

Hank: That's okay Gary. It'll be nice to be back home.

While Hank gets in 24's car, a group of rogue Guild members watches them from a rooftop.

Member 1: What now?

Member 2: Tail them and intercept them after they enter Ohio.

Over the next few days, things seem to going well. Dean had his concert and got promoted to 1st chair flute after the former 1st chair mysteriously disappeared(Dean had a guard kill him with antifreeze). Dr. Venture has the turkey in the oven while he, Sgt. Hatred, and Dean are making the sides. Dr. Orpheus is keeping an eye on Hank via astral projection while Al and Shoreleave are cooking a tofurkey and making vegan side dishes. Brock is back from Tibet and is getting ready to do his yearly volunteer shift at the soup kitchen near Malice. Pete and Billy are in Vegas with Billy's mom and the original Team Venture celebrating Billy's mom and Action Man getting married. Monarch and Dr. Mrs. The Monarch are making Thanksgiving dinner for the orphaned children in Malice while the henchmen are murdering people for the money needed to get the orphaned children gifts. Hank and 24 have just crossed into Ohio when evil happens.

24: Oh great, the engine light came on. I told 87 to fix the carburetor. Hold on Hank, I'll pull over and call a tow truck.

As soon as 24 pulls over, the group of rogue Guild members ambush them and take them hostage. 24 is able to give out a distress signal to AAA, who alerts the Monarch to the situation.

Monarch: Damnit! Why does this shit always happen on the holidays? [darts four people]

Dr. Mrs. The Monarch: Monarch! Not in front of the kids! If you need to kill someone, do it outside! [sees the distress signal]

Dr. Mrs. The Monarch: Oh shit. Code Yellow! Code Yellow!

The code yellow is dispersed throughout the organizations.

Dean: Why is there a code yellow?

Orpheus: It's because young Hank and 24 have been taken captive by a group of rogue Guild members and they need to be rescued immediately!

Sgt. Hatred: We have to help them Doc!

Dr. Venture: No we don't. Hank isn't officially a part of Team Venture anymore and 24 works for the Monarch. Now then, who wants to help with the scalloped potatoes?

Dean and Dr. Venture stay behind to finish Thanksgiving while Sgt. Hatred and Orpheus go to help Hank and 24. They are met up with Brock, Monarch, Al, Jefferson Twilight, Pete, Billy, and the original Team Venture.

Colonel Gentleman: Rally Team Venture!

Everyone: GO TEAM VENTURE!

Monarch: I can't believe I just said that!

Dr. Mrs. The Monarch: Me either, but its a code yellow so we kinda have to. Now then, let's get these two back alive!

A major battle ensues in which many rogue Guild members are killed. Hank and 24 are freed by Pete and Billy while Brock dismantles the fierce henchman armada. We come up to the leader of the rogue Guild members when Hank realizes he's wearing a mask.

Hank: Let's see whose behind the mask.

Everyone: Dr. Scorchley!?

A while later, the police come to take Dr. Scorchley to the Guild Asylum and find out why he took Hank and 24.

Monarch: Sweetie, how did you know it was him?

Dr. Mrs. The Monarch: Look at the engine Malcolm. See how its melted down? Only Dr.Scorchley and the Human Torch can do such a thing and the Human Torch is serving 25 years for 1st degree manslaughter. What I'd like to know is why?

Dr. Scorchley: Hank and his band were supposed to perform for my daughter's 15th birthday; when they didn't show, she ran away and got hit by a train a few days later. My wife left me and took the kids to San Juan, Puerto Rico. I also lost the house and my life savings.

Hank: I might know how to make things slightly better before he goes up the river for 10-15.

Monarch: It better be good Hank.

Hank: Well....

We go to the end of the episode when its been a week since Thanksgiving happened. Dr. Venture ate too much turkey and fell asleep behind the wheel of a brand new BMW, which he crashed into a horde of Black Friday shoppers, killing 53 people. Dean nearly died after eating a slice of pecan pie because Dr. Venture forgot to tell him that he had a pecan allergy. Brock, Hank, and The Order of the Triad joined the original Team Venture in Vegas and were later joined by the Monarch and Dr. Mrs. The Monarch. Things have been really quiet as of late and Dr. Venture and Dean are tuning into an episode of SNL.

Dr. Venture: Where's Hatred? He never misses this.

SNL announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Sgt. Hatred! [applause]

Sgt. Hatred: Thank you, thank you! We decided to commandeer the show tonight to pay tribute to this special little girl you see on the screen here; good ol' Rachel Sue. Rachel Sue Wagner died in the most horrible way possible a few months ago and she never got a proper sendoff. So, we decided to commandeer and give her old man the funeral she never had before he goes to jail for 5-15 for kidnapping and grand larceny. Without further ado, here's her favorite band Shallow Gravy! [applause]

Dr. Venture: What the hell is this, some kind of a gag?

Dean: It's not pop. I tried calling the studio and was told that you and I aren't allowed within 3 inches of the studio.

Dr. Venture: What the hell? I can't change the channel.

Orpheus[astral projection]: You did this to yourself Thaddeus. By the way, I'm going to be away for a few months, Shallow Gravy is on a US tour. Ta-ta boys!

Dr. Venture: Oh my God, what did they do to Weekend Update?

SNL announcer: Weekend Update with The Monarch and Pete White!

Monarch: Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Before we get on with the news, Pete and I thought we'd share some of Dr. Thaddeus Venture's most embarrassing and disturbing photos.

Pete: That's right Monarch. Here's a real embarrassing one from 9th grade. You can see that he has.....

Dr. Venture: NOOOOOOO! [collapses]

Dean: I'm not cleaning that up. Better go on Facebook and see how Tracy's doing.

H.E.L.P.eR: 011011000101

Dean: It's not stalking H.E.L.P.eR! [goes to his room]

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