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NIMBA

"I start this tale in the year 2061. I was a happy lad, you see. I was a teacher, a teacher for the infamous APP. What is the APP you ask? Well, I'll tell you my story for you will see, there's no one out there that's quite like me."

"My name is Lars Erickson, or as the APP calls me, #2189. I was a teacher for the APP or Ardent Paficists Party. I lived in a communal bedroom outside the hall of an old office building in Washington DC. My job was to seek out and 'teach' the infidelic floogs who seemed incapable of any kind of communication or intellect, you see."

"What is a floog you ask? Well, a floog is a person who escaped our euthanization chambers as they are deemed defective by the APP. They cost the party money and therefore cannot be in society. They also translate into our former beings; before the APP came to be. The APP came into power shortly after 2016 election when an unknown won the presidency. He ravaged and raved with fear, so the UN took upon themselves to call upon the act known as NIMBA or Not In My Backyard Act. It was passed unaminously and put forth into law on September 17, 2017 at 1:45 AM. NIMBA failed almost immediately as our closest allies at the time turned their backs on us and declared war. This led to the invasion of several countries on September 30, 2017 by the Russian presidency and catapulted us into WWIII. At the same time, the APP became powerful and had a huge backing which led to us having a second civil war, which lasted 9 years. It was the Neo-Feds vs the Neo-Cons and the Neo-Feds were backed by the APP, which landed them a decisive victory at the Battle of Los Angeles on September 15, 2026. The APP had assumed temporary power during the civil war, however, once the Neo-Feds won, all hell broke loose."

"The APP banned the following things immediately: any and all weapons(including kitchen utensils), any and all religions(including atheism), any and all consumption of food and beverages not approved by the APP(the only thing that could be consumed was water; no food), clothing, shoes, any and all forms of communication(including the Internet and technology as we know it), families, any unnecessary amounts of children, any and all forms of currency(including precious metals and jewels), any and all forms of law enforcement(including all remaining political parties, congress, senate, and the supreme court), trading, vehicles, trains, ships, airplanes, helicopters, light rail, horses, electricity, any and all sports and forms of recreation, books,any and all forms of art, movies, TV shows, any and all forms of music, any and all defective people(even those who wore glasses or had allergies), any and all words or phrases considered negative(even the word no), education, fire departments, medicine, any and all makeup, and any and all perceived luxury goods. To make sure that no one died, they infused the water with any and all possible nutrients you would need to survive. The APP declared their party rulers for eternity and everyone bowed down to them like it was nothing. Over time, things became peaceful and things were put into motion so that the mistakes of the past wouldn't happen again."

"There were several creations of needed departments to ensure everyone that things will be right again. The YCA, ECD, BNA, LA, IHA, DDC, and APP HQ were created shortly after everything was banned. The YCA was the Youth Career Assignment center and it was managed by my dear friend Gwendolyn Uecker or #7354. She was the prettiest girl you'd ever seen. She had long blonde hair, ruby red lips, and had the cutest dimples on her cheeks. She lived in Baltimore in an old factory building near Sector 7G. I knew I couldn't be with her as I was assigned to my wife Felicia Flanders; a cold, calculating, despondent woman whose father was head of the YCA. Felicia Flanders was a spoiled brat who spent all her time raiding shops and trying on forbidden clothes. She even had me arrested once when she was caught with the goods, saying I was forcing her to want clothes. I spent 3 months in jail, during which time I was subjected to psychotropic medication consisting of an LSD/Adderall/Rohypnol/STP cocktail. While we the people couldn't use anything of that nature, the APP sure could! I became addicted to the Adderall and was sent to a re-NIMBAfication camp in western Pennsylvania. I came back happy as could be or so I thought. I ran into Gwendolyn on my night out and was instantly smitten with her once more. We ran into an old bakery not from her home and made love. We knew we would be killed if we were found as while the APP taught us to love and withstill our need for violence, they used violence the same way a crackhead would use crack after getting a much needed fix. They craved violence so much that it was an act of love in their eyes. They bathed in blood and yearned for the day when they could kill us all as that would be the ultimate high."

"After Gwendolyn and I made love, we threw away our badges and ran. We ran so far and so fast that no one could catch up to us as any and all forms of exercise had been banned for 'safety reasons' back in 2031. We made it to Virginia and spent the night in a cave, knowing full well that we would be killed if they found us. The next day, we took to the riverbeds and acted as though we were passing on our way to our new home. We got to central Virginia when a young man hit me with a shoe. It was a floog, yet he seemed so familiar. I gazed upon him and there it was, a twinkle in his eye. It was my old friend Dom! Dominick O'Brien was once one of the most powerful men in the APP. He headed the Location Assignment depot. He was a big man, about 6'4" with a belly so wide you'd swear he'd eaten three men. He invited us to his cave where he spent the evening and told us the tale of how he came to be in these woods. He was heading the LA like usual when one day he'd been arrested for treason. He was said to have given aid and comfort to the enemy, the Neo-Con army. He plead guilty in the hopes of lieniency with his family. The APP however put his family to death, including his two small children. It drove him mad and when he was sent to prison, he escaped and took off deep into the woods. He met an old man there one day who looked healthy as can be, he even offered a bite to eat. Dom had never tasted actual food before and in the blink of an eye, he had eaten 144 hamburgers and cheeseburgers. He felt mighty full and mighty good too. He went to bed that night happy as he could be and decided to stay here the next day. He lived here with the old man til he passed away, then Dom took over the cabin and eventually became the leader of the VA division of the Neo-Con. We decided to stay with Dom and help the Neo-Con get rid of NIMBA and the APP. We had a lot fun and things were looking up, until one day a few years ago."

"Dom had fired back at some Neo-Fed regime looking for two other followers of the Neo-Con. In came Ward Anderson and Waylon Klein. Waylon was a good guy who came from somewhere in Georgia. Ward on the other hand was mean and spiteful. He hated everything and wanted only riches and jewelry for himself. Ward Anderson or #3184 was a menial laborer for the BNA or Baby Name Assignment depot. He catered to the higher ups, only to be shot down each time. He also had a wife and son back home in Wisconsin. Waylon Klein or #3152 was a widower who'd seen his share of war and knew how to handle a rifle. He hated Ward with a passion and felt something wasn't right about him. One day while rifling through some things, Ward came about something that change the course of history. It was a map dated in 2015. It showed the world and what the country looked like. It also showed the location of a secret hideaway, hidden beneath a cove in the Atlantic Ocean. He showed it to us and insisted that we go there and find out what this is all about. We said no and he stormed off without telling us where he was headed. He showed to the commander of the Neo-Con and we were ordered to go see it and investigate the cove. We took enough food to last us through the trip and headed off. Three days went by and we were nowhere near the ocean, let alone the cove. We were tired, hungry, and thirsty. We decided to settle down for the night and each person would keep an eye on the food in case of wild animals should come by. Dom went first, then me, then Gwendolyn, then Waylon, and finally Ward. The next day, we woke up and none other than Arnold Greenbuckle was there."

"Whose Arnold Greenbuckle you ask? Well, he's the leader of the APP. He and his army of Neo-Feds had been tipped off to our location by one Ward Anderson. He also had the map and a copy of every known hideout and cave system in the area. He is best described as a snake-eyed, bucktoothed, ratface with a green alligator skinned suit, solid gold dress shirt, a necktie comprised entirely of sapphires, and brown leather shoes. He told us that if we gave ourselves up, we'd be given lieniency in our sentencing, but we didn't believe him and chose to fight. He had the Neo-Feds round up some Neo-Cons and said we had to have an even chance for fighting. The Neo-Feds came back with some Neo-Cons and the battle was on. We fought and shot as hard as we could and won, albeit barely. Arnold Greenbuckle got away and Dom was nearly killed. The Neo-Cons smuggled some medical supplies from the Neo-Feds and we took care of Dom. We went a while yonder before Dom dropped to his knees one day and said this: "Take me home fellas, take me home." We knew what we had to do. It was painful, but we had no choice. After the Neo-Con heard about the deception that Ward did to us and the death of Dom, he'd had enough and did the ultimate thing too. We continued on as did the Neo-Con. Ward became head of the Neo-Feds and had an ambush waiting for us at the cove, but we were ready. We had a battle brigade of the Neo-Con NC division by our side and they had the Neo-Fed brigade ME division. A fierce battle wore on for days and weeks. Things were looking good when Ward killed off our best fighter, Waylon. I was overcome with grief and emotion, things that your not allowed to have under APP law. I took that bayonet and jammed it right between his eyes. The Neo-Feds sped off into the sunset and were never seen in those parts again. We buried Waylon where we said he'd be buried one day; under the old oak tree near his home. We went back north and continued on our journey. We reached the cove about a week and headed for the sea. We swam and we swam til you found us a day or two later. Then we woke up here and we were brought before this tribunal."



The judge pondered a bit and sat down with the three wisest men in the room. After much deliberation, Lars and Gwendolyn were allowed to stay. They settled into their new chamber and a few months later, welcomed a healthy baby girl that they named Dominique, in honor of their friend Dom. They married a short time later and were settled into their lines of work. Lars became head of the International Neo-Con and seated in the wise chamber during its session. Gwendolyn became the teacher of International Neo-Con elementary school and made it so that those deemed unworthy or floogs would get the same education and opportunities as everyone else. Meanwhile, they prepared for when the inevitable day would come when the International Neo-Con would come face to face with Arnold Greenbuckle and the APP and this time, they would be ready.

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